Since I’ve gotten home from visiting my family in Georgia I decided to make some ground rules to try not to burn myself out on life. Before I left for Georgia I was the epitome of an, Elated Sob Story. And for those who are new to getting to know me; that was a shameless plug for my (old) band name.
I truly feel as though I am constantly at the helm of an Elated Sob Story. I can be such a super, sappy f#ck one minute and a hot mess the next. No, I’m not maniac depressive or bi-polar. I can proudly admit I’ve been through enough therapy to have been cleared of either of those prognoses. And for those whom might be struggling with either of those, I encourage you to find someone outside of friends or family to let the “diarrhea of your thoughts” flow freely onto (i.e. a professional).
As I digress I will also explain what I meant by “ground rules for NOT burning out on life” now that I’m back in San Diego. This city, although a very large county, is a very small city. That speaks volumes when it comes to the LGBT community. I’m sure even the average lesbian can say that this town tends to feel suffocating from time to time. Ok, now imagine you’re an active participant in the community that tries to bring some level of entertainment to ya’ll so that you can boast about it (the LGBT community). There’s competition, deadlines, (unfortunately) backstabbing and DRAMA to the max.
No matter how much someone says they don’t want drama in their life it’s inevitable there will always be some to a certain degree. The hardest yet easiest part is how or just how much you let it affect you. MY problem (no one else’s) is that I ended up letting those whom I normally don’t care about get the better of me instead of the ones that are incredible to me.
After being able to hold my amazing, newborn niece in my arms just moments after I patted my sister’s belly saying, “I’ll meet you soon, Ansley”, all of the DRAMA went away. In all the other moments I got to hold, feed, rock and kiss my niece I knew that I am the beholder of my true happiness. I vowed to her that I would do whatever it took to keep the drama out of my life so that I can be the best, happiest and healthiest aunty Star she could ever hope for.
Since being home I have been very selective about whom I hang out with, where I go and how often I might be doing the same thing as to try not to fall into any ruts. I reached out to those that have been there for me and vice versa. I started to clean up and revamp that (f*cking) resume for the millionth time. I had an amazing comedy show with some new and lovely, local comedians that have been a blast to work with. My girlfriend and I instantly became closer due to the space we were faced with and have only made more plans for a (very hopeful) long-term future. And for the first time I wasn’t reluctant to talk about cheesy things like living together, kids and or marriage later on down the road. It’s a definitely relief to speak candidly about it instead of avoiding any of those subjects.
One thing I haven’t done that I (truly hope) to change is staying up to date with this freaking blog. Which is where I want to NOT CARE what I say and or how I say it. This is ultimately for me and for the “sneaky” people that want to see what’s going on inside the crazy thoughts of this freaky brain! Thank you for whomever you might be, I think? 😉
So, I’m going to end this with some photos of places I’ve been to, an amazing turkey burger I made with my gf, scenery, Mr. Bailey Cakes and whatever else.